Joke: ERP Implementation in 10 Easy Steps

1. Ask the board of directors for an arbitrary but large sum of money. (Suggestion: $300 million.)

2. Give half the money to consultants. Ask them to select an appropriate ERP package for your company. Consultants will audit your business processes for six months and then select SAP, which they happen to resell.

3. Form cross-functional implementation teams. Hold meetings.

4. Reengineer all your business processes to match the software’s model.

5. Give the other half of the money to consultants.

6. Install the software.

7. Train end users repeatedly.

8. Cross your fingers.

9. Turn on the software.

10. If you’re still in business, immediately return to Step 1 because it’s time for an upgrade.